Well, it’s officially been one year since our lives changed. Part of me thinks “damn, one year is a long time, I’ve accomplished a lot in quarantine” the other part of me thinks “one year went by so fast, it was a complete blur, I didn’t accomplish anything” either way we can all relate on some level.
The uncertainty in the beginning had all of us trying to figure out what, when & how to do anything and everything. None of us had been through something like this and we all had to figure it out as we went. We had to re-adjust our lives and adapt to a new way of living. Not being able to see friends & family, go to social events or family gatherings, making sure we all had enough food & water for weeks or possibly months, the list goes on… Life was officially put on hold.
Before we went into lock down here in Los Angeles, my brother who lives in San Francisco had been advising us about 1 month prior to get prepared. It seemed like anytime there was a new development in San Francisco it would later be the same for Los Angeles. So, we listened and were well prepared before the lock down was official (thanks brother)
Then came the uncertainty of possibly losing your job, either temporarily or permanently. Luckily, I was able to work from home but my hours were cut significantly. Still everyday I was worried that I might lose my job because at this point no job was secure. I am beyond grateful that I still have a job and I continue to work from home but also fully aware that it can change in the blink of an eye.
Working from home has been great for the most part but it also has had some effects on me personally. In the beginning I had a lot of free time. It was nice at first but after a while I found myself trying to find something to do to fill up all my free time. I would fill it up with soo many different things (see previous blog post: Quarantine Life As An Artist) and eventually I would run out of new things to do and it became repetitive like a broken record. Then there was this little thing called boredom that would set in (not a good place to be) followed by a side of cabin fever…
I was rarely bored prior to quarantine but during quarantine I was bored more times than I can count (with a side of cabin fever) The boredom was filled with overthinking that eventually gave birth to my new friend anxiety! I have never had a problem with anxiety in the past but now….I’m sure anxiety made a lot of new friends within one year. (more on this later)
Being a creative, my mind always needs creative stimulation to stay on point. When the creativity starts to fade and is no longer existent or dormant for a long period of time, I’ve realized my overthinking is 100 times worse! My work as a photographer was put on hold until further notice. No clients, no projects, etc… At times I even questioned if I should continue being a photographer. I thought about selling all my equipment, closing this chapter and just hang it up.(one of the many negative thoughts that filled my head) I fought with those thoughts for awhile, then realized “NO, I love this way to much to just give it up.” All I had to do was pivot and figure it out.
Now, lets chat about my new friend anxiety. I’m pretty sure a lot of us NOW can relate to this…
I believe my anxiety was lurking for a while but I wasn’t aware. Then, from one minute to the next it made it’s grand entrance front and center. It got soo bad that I was getting questionable physical symptoms like chest pains that landed me in the E.R. All the tests they ran, came out normal. They figured it was a combo of stress and anxiety. I followed up with my Dr. (via zoom) and then referred me to a cardiologist just to make sure, you know, piece of mind. More tests were ran and the conclusion was that my heart is in perfect health. I’ve never had so many consecutive zoom consultations with my doctor over a 2 month period, EVER! Every questionable symptom that would arise after seeing the cardiologist, there I go calling my doctor. Since he was not seeing patients in person, zoom calls were the only option. Is this a normal thing? Does anyone else call their doctor this much?
Happy to report, I finally have an appointment to see him for a full physical this week!
It’s been a rough 3-4 months but I’ve learned a lot and my goal is to get all of this under control because it’s not fun! It’s been challenging but now it seems like things are getting better slowly but surely. With all the knowledge I have acquired on “how to” and putting self-care as my top priority, I can probably write a book about it, ok just kidding. Old habits have been replaced with new and better habits. It’s definitely a process! It’s also a reminder of just how fragile we are and to always be kind to ourselves.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been all bad. There are some good things that came out of this. I have learned a lot of new things from all the reading I’ve done. I’ve acquired some new skills and interests. Some acquaintances blossomed into friendships. I have fully embraced the true essence of self-care. I’m eating healthier and have found a workout plan that works for me and gets me excited. My creativity has recently returned thanks to some great advise from an artist friend of mine. Now, I have a new ambitious project that I’m currently brainstorming. I also had to remind myself to be grateful everyday no matter what!
So, how has it been for the rest of you? What have you accomplished? Has it been rough or has it been a breeze?
Many of us have lost loved ones to Covid…
Many of us are suffering with mental health issues…
Just remember to stay strong and always spread kindness to everyone you encounter.
Also, I read this somewhere so I’ll share here:
“Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued, loved and supported.”
Creatively Crazy 